Louis Armstrong once said, that we live in a wonderful world – sadly, that was almost 50 years ago. However, in today’s amazing, spectacular, intriguing, and daring world filled with massive amounts of shock value – revolution strikes at every corner, and more so – at festivals!Β
In an effort to stay up-to-date, and help everyone make the best of their festival experience, we are here to tell you about all the raging trends in the festival world, and implore that you apply these trends at your next festival! Take a deep breath, cause this ride is going to be REVOLUTIONARY!
Disclaimer: This is a humorous post, we share none of these sentiments as our own, we are just trying to be funny.
1. Impressive headgear (that’s sure to make lasting impressions)
Culturally sensitive, highly conscious headgear has been the norm at festivals for the longest time, and with all the new native american, indian, and oriental headgear everyone is sporting at festivals – we can only tell you – that you should get on the bandwagon too – before it leaves forever!
2. Engaging in a ‘threesome’
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Sex, is a primal instinct that we all possess, and when at a festival – with all that adrenaline pumping through you, and with hormones on a rise because of the feels that you’re experiencing – recent studies have shown that feeling a little libidinous is alright, and doing something freakaaaay about it – is just natural. So, why not make that path to relief a fun one, with two other someones? It helps, why not just find out from this trio yourself?Β
3. The ‘dressed down’ look
Since festivals are all about comfort, and ease – one of the many new game-changers in the clothing industry, is the concept of semi-nudity. And yes, you read that right. Festival trends may mean that your game needs to change, and what better way, than to take your top off, and roam the streets and pathways baring it all, because – we’re all unique, and different in our own way; no one’s going to be wearing that same outfit as you!Β Funnily enough, we heard that there’s some people that condone this kind of dressing, check it out here!
4. An ever-essential selfie game
On the rise these days, has been the flooding of instagram, facebook, and twitter feeds with multiple selfies – selfies of all kinds, with all sorts of things, via all sorts of devices. It is due to this ever increasing number of selfies that we see everyday at festivals, that we suggest catching up with all the other mainstream guys out there. The next time you’re at a festival, whip out your phone, and go for it, press that capture button so many times that your fingers begin to hurt, use your selfie-stick to find that perfect angle, and try, just try not being distracted by the music.
5. The intellectual ability of The Plastics
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Smart, was the old sexy. The new sexy, is wondering about things that are so deep, no one but yourself could comprehend it. The new sexy, is all about getting your nerd game on, the only catch? That nerd game, needs to be slightly off ‘fleek’. While you have to be smart, the only thing we’ve seen lately at festivals, has been pointless conversation, mindless interaction, and a lot of drunken scenarios that leave people literally speechless. However, if it’s a Wednesday – remember to wear pink!
6. *$$$* Cash money *£££*
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Have you ever seen those BPL (BELOWΒ POVERTYΒ LINE)Β peeps at festivals? We didn’t think so – mostly because we haven’t either! Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just that, the only thing that seems to get you anywhere at a festival – is money. Cold, hard, cash – all lined up for you to have that wonderful festival experience – right from the expensive ticket, to the exorbitantly priced food and drinks, all the way till the ‘cheap’ merchandise at the flea markets, where your hipster dreams will come true! If you’re not packing some serious cash, festivals are just not for you π
7. A semblance of sobriety (more like, lack thereof)
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It was never about the music anyway, festivals are, and will always be places to get drunk at, and the best part? There’s no apologising for ANYTHING! Most attendees these days are usually flocked around the bar areas, trying their hardest to get a drink amidst that crowd! But then, there are also the smart ones that bring their own in, and how – is something of a secret! But we know what their tricks are! Being sober at a festival is somewhat clichΓ©d, and all these efforts to help people stay sober, are well, pointless to the drunks!
8. Nonchalance towards pressing issuesΒ
Environmental concerns? Loss of habitat? Killing of innocent animals? Ring a bell?
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Well, it shouldn’t. These things are lost causes, and at festivals, there is no place for concern or cause! Things like these deserve to be banners at NGO offices, and they should just stay there! At least, that is what most of the cool people around think. The new ideologies of letting go of mother earth are somewhat lucid, and at festivals, they’re just norms. Go ahead, next festival, litter, throw things around, shoo some cats and dogs away, stab some bulls, it’s all good! Why bother when all you’re doing is contributing to global warming?
9. Starting fights & arguments
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Like we said, staying sober is nothing that festival goers must acquaint themselves with, and in that light – there’s no point in staying calm and composed! Festivals have seen multiple fights, numerous stampedes, and various arguments on a multitude of topics – and for anyone that wants to get with the current cultures at festivals – it is only fair that they also take part in these little charades that everyone loves to be a part of! But always remember, IT’S ALL IN GOOD FAITH!
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10. Being the 21st century encyclopaedia of COOL
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Style? Check. Fashion? Check. Drunk? Check. Nerd Look? Check. Tinder? Check. Phone Battery? Check. Check-In? Check. The list is endless. Cool is a concern that most people have at festivals, right from preparation, to during, and even after – everyone is always making sure they stay cool – but the only way to do that, is to conform to what everyone else is doing, and that is why, for your next festival, you need to be as cool as everyone out there, you need to be doing everything trendy, and kick-ass (refer to list above). That is the only way you shall succeed!
In the hopes of having made you laugh a little bit, the Sherp just wants to let you know, that we want you to have the best experience ever at a festival – and that means not doing any of the things that we’ve mentioned above, but think about it, mull over it, and tell us at breakfast tomorrow!