Have you ever waited so long in line at a festival, so long that it made you give up on life? Well, we all have – and with recent festivals witnessing a rise in numbers, and a drop in logistical viability; here’s a list of things that will probably help, the next time you are stuck in one of those never-ending-over-populated-narrow lines:
(Image Courtesy: PortlandCraftBeer)
The line began at Download Festival (where some other issues were underway), carried over to EDC, and some other miscellaneous festivals in between, and now is at Electric Forest – but the one thing that baffles us all, is that we still go ahead and put ourselves through all that trouble to attend the festival;Β making the most of that dolla dolla bill yo.
While waiting in line at a festival, lots of things go down, many thoughts are thought, and numerous people are accidentally introduced to each other – but have you ever wondered if people were thinking what you were thinking in that line? If they shared the same thoughts? Or if they were as crazed about that DJ they’re missing while waiting in line with you? The Sherp knows that there’s a bunch of different people out there at festivals, but what we know for sure, is that a line can bring out the funniest, and most interesting thought-processes ever; here’s a couple:
1. “I can’t believe I came early for this”Β
Let’s take a moment before we enter this line, and consider all the possible options and reasons for its existence. You, chose to come early, but guess what – so did the 4056 other people standing in line, and that, well, didn’t really work out to anyone’s benefit.
2. “WHY is everyone touching me?”
There’s people, yes, we understand – but do they all have to be in some sort of close-knit contingent mob formation while they try to acquire a band and get inside?
3. “I wish I were taller”Β
When you’re stuck in between all these people, and you cannot see anything but more people, some legs, some hands waving in the air, and a lot of heads and torsos – you know that you are probably on the shorter end of the spectrum. That my friend, warrants all sorts of things that you could do, or think of doing at least – but in the heat of the moment (read: emitted from the people that are sticking to you like spandex), all you can think of, is trying to look above the rest and find a way forward.
4. “Woah, he/she is really good looking, maybe I could make small talk *smirk*”
You’ve got some time to kill, and you’re surrounded be a vast gathering of individuals of all sexes, shapes, and sizes, there’s a possibility that you might see someone that tickles all your fancies, and that someone – is as bored as you; so you make a gesture, you wave, you shout, and then you finally say “This line is so long… ugh”
5. “Is this really the line?”
Sometimes however, you are just baffled by the sheer size and length of the line, sometimes you assume that the line is actually not the one that you see extending to the moon, and possibly back, but just something on the side, maybe?
6. “How does that person still look so good? OMG!?”
At every festival, someone really manages to dress up, and dress up real good. Even after waiting hours in line for their tickets/bands/etc, they manage to look nonchalantly unaffected, and hopelessly perfect – unlike the rest of us out there, who just manage to scrape through and remain half decent.
7. “Are they trying to talk to me to distract me and get ahead?”
When you’re approached by someone in a line at a festival, the first thought that probably comes to your mind when you’re talking to them, is to see if your position in the queue is being sabotaged by some pretty lady/man; more so, she/he, could be a normal person – with no intentions but that of making a new friend who is possibly going through the same trauma as they are – but why would anyone want to do that, right?
8. “What if I just went and grabbed a drink someplace else?”Β
Yes, you have been waiting for hours on end, your legs are killing you, and your mind is wandering places, even Neitzsche’s couldn’t. But the one most prominent thought, that could possibly make you the happiest person alive, is to get out of the line (alive as well), and squander the nearest bar for all the alcohol they’ve got just to make sure you have some peace of mind because of being squished in between people, and thrown around like a large ball in a pit full of volleyball players.
9. “Should’ve carried that umbrella”Β
Well, of course it has begun to rain, but that is not going to stop anybody from moving forward. Isn’t that right? When you were packing up, you really should have taken that umbrella/anti-rain-gear, with you. It would not have been so wet otherwise – in the most morbid sense of the word.
10. “What if I get pick-pocketed?”
With so many people around, there is always the scare of having your things taken away from you. The highest probable thing happening, apart from you finding your soulmate, is you being pick-pocketed, and in long queues, what better thing to do than become a paranoid person, scared that everyone is conspiring against you to take away all your worldly possessions!
11. “I’m almost there, it’s all going to be fine”Β
YOU can see the light, and it is bright. All you need to do, is get through another 4 people ahead of you, and another 1000 behind you pushing you all the way in front, and then; life is all peachy and pretty.
12. “Why didn’t they anticipate this???”
Now, to really consider your position in life, crammed up against a lot of different people, being pushed around, thrown in directions, and having your oesophagus crushed by the calmly individuals around you – you obviously think of how you could’ve avoided this; sadly though, the only way you could’ve is to have made sure that you’re not going in at peak time, and that is the sad predicament we are all left at during these festivals.
(All Images Courtesy: Giphy)