Here’s a list of what NOT to do if you’re on your road to DJ stardom.

Dreaming of becoming a superstar DJ and maybe even seeing your name in the DJ Mag Top 100? Who wouldn’t? The money, international travel, party lifestyle, adoring fans all sound like a chill career path, but there are certain things you should definitely never do. Here are some important signs that show you’re doing it wrong – so lean in and pay close attention, because these simple rules could just save your set, and even your neck!

1. Becoming Hysterical To DJ Requests

DJ Outlaw from Atlanta obviously did not follow this instruction when he got into a dispute with a nightclub customer over a song request and shot him five times with a shotgun to get ‘even’ with him. So if someone is annoying you with asinine song requests, we recommend you seek some anger management or practice meditation before taking to the decks.

2. Being A Guy Without A Plan

Do your homework and do it well. Remember, you’re the guy at the center and core of the event. Don’t be the kid in this clip. It is pretty innocent and cute overall – but just don’t imitate him when you’re up on stage! Go in with a strategy and execute it.

3. Forgetting To Plug In The Equipment You’re Pretending To Use

It takes the biggest bollocks in the game to stand before turntables and a mixer that are not plugged into one another and pretend that you’re controlling the music – it’s the DJ counterpart of playing an air guitar on stage. If you’ve got a fancy controller but the music is being played off your iPod, be sure to plug it in!

4. Biting Your Vinyl Records

A commercial like this can be very influential and persuasive but also very misleading. Your vinyl record is NOT an edible pancake, so don’t chew on it or drool all over it. Besides, press shots with a vinyl in your mouth aren’t going to help you get signed.

5. Being A Genius At Clearing The Dance Floor

It takes a certain amount of expertise to bring the party to a grinding halt within the first 20 minutes of your set. Playing a long intro to a track to start the battle is a bad idea. Do not blow your load before the night hits its peak party time by dropping your crowd-pleasing monster jams at one go. Also, don’t bury your head into your laptop and mixer. Watch your crowd. And the main key is – keep practicing!

6. DJing Like You Just DGAF

No one likes seeing a wannabe diva spin. Stay humble and learn some skills before you demonstrate your sheer chutzpah on stage. Refrain from getting up on the decks until you’re actually prepared to deal with technical issues.

7. Trying Too Hard To Be Aoki

Steve Aoki is as much a DJ as he is an entertainer – from caking his audience at pretty much any opportunity to crowd surfing on inflatable dinghies or spewing champagne at the crowd and even throwing ice cubes and salads at them! It will only be a matter of time before these antics could backfire. Even Aoki landed in the hospital with a seriously bad neck when he tried to attempt an epic trampoline splash. So don’t go full retard.

8. Being A Douche

If you dress like an action figure when you’re on stage and try to excite the crowd with your poser behavior, you must be foolishly affluent. Basically, don’t DJ like this…

9. Using Pauly D’s Video For Inspiration

If you’re looking for a coach to train you on hair product, spray tan or wooing the lobotomized mob on a social media platform, then Pauly D is your guy! If you’re looking for tips on DJing, here’s what you’ll learn from the Jersey Shore chap:

– How to film yourself boarding a plane before the other passengers so it appears your jet is private.

– Wearing your headphones back to front around your neck and never actually putting them on.

– Spitting cheap champagne that has your name on the bottle over the crowd.

– Double fist pumping.

– How to carry off diamante encrusted headphones.

10. Ignoring Your Fans

Saying ‘I am a DJ’ when someone asks ‘What do you do for a living?’ is pretty cool indeed. Being a DJ sure gets you a lot of attention, maybe not always from the kind of people you would want. Being a jerk to your fans is the last thing you’d want to do because they’re the ones who will make or break you. So sugar-coat yourself and appreciate your devoted admirers – or you may end up having none.