Hitting a festival bathroom can be an experience worth remembering. More often, it’s for all the wrong reasons. However, nature’s call cannot be left unanswered after a certain point, and visiting the John becomes inevitable. The Sherp sets down a few guidelines to help you ‘enhance’ this necessary experience
1. Avoid Them, Stay Constipated
If you’re at a festival and a bit of a clean freak, this is your best option. Cheese, ice cream, pastries and more conveniently, alcohol are great inducers of constipation.
2. Be the first one to use the freshly cleaned can
If you’re going to a longer festival that involves camping, like Burning Man or Bonnaroo, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’re going to have to drop a deuce at some point. One thing you can do to make it more tolerable is to ask around and find out what the cleaning schedule is for the bathrooms closest to your campsite.
3. Keep your sanitizer handy
While many festival porta-potty’s have their own hand washing and sanitizer station, carrying your own always gives you that edge in terms of personal satisfaction. Besides, they’re useful every time you know you’re going to get your hands messy.
4. Know where they are
One of the beauties of the digestive system is that it can surprise you more often than your own liking. Be prepared, place yourself in the vicinity of your nearest loo-shed. You really don’t want to be held up in one far corner of the venue when nature calls.
5. Cheat of the century: vicks vaporub
Dab this little ointment right under your nose. The intense camphor/eucalyptus/menthol scents penetrate your nasal passages making it so, that all you smell is what’s under your nose. This is what crime scene investigators do when dealing with decomposing organic material.
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