There is so much bonhomie at a music festival that you never quite realise when you mayย rub someone the wrong way! Of course, The Sherp is here toย make sure you don’t.ย
Creeps, they’re everywhere! Slyly including themselves in an event only so to stalk someone that suits their preferential taste. Sliding up to ‘busy-in-another-conversation you’ so as to eavesdrop and pitch in when the time feels right. Adding you up on Facebook five minutes after being introduced to you. Hovering around your line of vision at every opportune moment. Truly, a creep at task, is almost always around.
Now at a music festival, the processย of singling out the creeps from the truly harmless isย immensely clouded. That person you see at almost every stage you’re at is probably only interested in the same music as you. It’s pure matter of chance that you keep running into the same person again and again at the bar. And perhaps, just perhaps, if the person is hitting you up, he/she just thinks you’re interesting enough for a conversation. Because, let’s face it, festivals are a great place to meet people of your kind. People who share the same unwavering passion for music as you do.
So if you’re one of those people on the borderlines of social interaction afraid of coming in too strong, The Sherp is here to guide you through seamlessly.
Firstly, it’s no big deal. Always remember that.ย
Approaching someone at a music festival, for whatever reason (purely innocent, we mean) is not wrong; only your manner can be. So if you have a straight up respectful way of speaking to someone, do not hype up the situation in your head ten times over only so you get more nervous. That will reflect in your quick, jerky manner of speaking, making things, well, awkward. In short, be confident because the worst case scenario is the proposed conversation will onlyย be declined.
Comfort is the key
You can never gauge the comfort levels of another person. While some people are warmly receptive to a harmless touch on the arm, some people do not appreciate that one bit. While some don’t mind being spoken to, some might take offence to you interrupting their time at the festival. Make sure that the person you’re speaking to is most comfortable. This will obviously work better if you do not try being over-friendly in the first place. Men and women, alike, can have strong intimacy borders, so different rules do not apply.
Do not hover. I repeat.ย
It’s one thing that you happen to be at the same stage another person is at, every time. That has happened to most of us at music festivals. But if you’re consciously heading to the very same stages that the other person is at, only so you can seek them out, it will most definitely show. And almost positively, the person will have developed a resistance to you without even having had a chance to speak to you first. Hovering, in the hope that they notice you, is the physical version of beating around the bush. And people who do that are only driven away from the private lawns.
You’re entitled to nothing
One of the most annoying things for people anywhere is constantly being persisted to do something. “I will leave you alone if you let me buy you one drink”, is not charming. It just goes to prove what an ass you really are. It’s polite, and sweet to offer someone a drink, or even a conversation. But the moment there is resistance from the other end, it’s equally polite to leave the other person alone. It’s not the market, and you’re not striking a bargain. The other person owes you nothing.
Pay heed to the NOs
A prerequisite for the point above is you respecting someone’s choice. So, almost every time, sans exception, a no means a no. The moment someone declines from pursuing your proposed conversation, or going to a stage with you, it is time for you to walk away politely. Chances are the person will only respect your noble intentions, and will strike up a conversation if they were to bump into you later. Persisting, inspite of their intolerance, will label you the creep you never set out to be.
Walk away with respect
If you follow all the above steps, and are respectful and mindful of someone else’s space, then walk away with your head held high. Creep-shaming is a real thing, and it can be sad that someone you wish to speak with antagonises you for no fault of yours. If that were to happen, apologise and walk away, but realise that the person you wished to be friends with, wasn’t much to begin with. Wanting to speak to someone is no crime, and within your space of politeness, you’re doing nothing wrong. Always remember that.
(All gif images source: giphy.com)