Divorce and Holidays – How to Keep the Right Balance (and Take Care of Your Kids) The Sherp July 8, 2020 Uncategorized The holiday during divorce can be a painful experience, especially for children. Therefore, your task is to prevent the holiday from being associated with complaints and grievances. Where to start? From attitude. Holidays are not an occasion to be locked in yourself and demonstrate your attitude towards your other partner. It is about love, spending time with family, radiating warmth and kindness. Respect Your Children’s Feelings Do not force your child to put on a fake smile. Children usually feel broken when seeing their family in the same state. Understand and accept their willingness to be alone and do not make them sit together at the table with their family members. One effective method is to plan at least a few attractions during which children will be able to release some emotions. Depending on the weather, it can be ice-skating, cross-country skiing or a long walk with making a snowman. Any activity that will allow children to relax and use their energy will work. Children are not able to handle their emotions for a long time. Sooner or later these emotions will start to burst. Obviously, in order to prevent unwanted problems, it is better to carry out the divorce as fast as possible. Online divorce help service can provide you with a simple do it yourself divorce kit and a step-by-step guide on how to fill it out. Online divorce services can help filling out divorce forms and save some money in your wallet. Just imagine, while most children are worried about whether they would get the gift of their dreams, children in the to-be-separated families have a lot more concerns. Their parents are also burdened with a lot more worries and stress. Standard problems, such as organizing holidays and buying gifts, are also accompanied by worries on how not to spend the family evening in confusing silence. Do not let your thoughts occupy your mind. Holidays is the right time to show your kids that they must not feel less important and loved because their mother and father do not have the same relationships as before. Keep in mind that it is normal to let children spend time with the other parent separately. Naturally, people behave differently in the same room with people they are uncomfortable to talk about. Do Not Compete With Your Partner Give your children a great example that holidays, especially Christmas, is the time to forgive and apologize. Show your child that despite the fact that their parents are getting divorced, they are not angry at each other and that they are still ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. And each of the parents loves them evenly and gives their attention in equal shares. Discuss the Gifts What can be easier than buying something that is written in the child’s letter to Santa? Not the easiest task for divorcing parents, you know. For example, a child receives two almost identical gifts or does not get what he or she cared about most. That is because their parents did not reach an agreement. Thus, determining what gift it should be and who would take care of it can spare unnecessary frustration and disappointments. Sometimes it happens that at Christmas Eve there is suddenly a need for one of the spouses to evaluate the behavior and life of one of their partners. It is worth remembering that children are sensitive to what is said about their parents. Although they may seem busy at that time, they might be trying to handle the heavy baggage of emotions from your conversation. Do Not Plant Unnecessary Hopes After being informed about parents’ divorce, children only think about it being a nightmare. Seeing parents together being ‘happy’ can make children think that their parents are getting together again. There are definitely traditions that have cultivated over time in your family. However, since a divorcing parents’ arrangement has appeared, this is no longer possible. Instead of attempting to take up the thread and force everyone to follow the old traditions, it is better to suggest a new tradition. Summary Celebrating holidays while going through a divorce can be tense. But the main point is to remember that children are first and foremost. Do not let your personal troubles spoil a beautiful day for a kid. Leave your worries outside and try to create a friendly atmosphere in the house. But do not give children misconceptions and you are together again.