Time and again, we music-crazy millenials, gather at congregations to celebrate, witness and enjoy our favourite musicians belt out their best. Now while, we are eternally grateful to the individuals/corporations responsible for hosting the musicians we admire, we must pose some serious questions to the same people who happily take our good money but sometimes do not deliver on their lofty promises.
1. Why is water so expensive?
Honestly bro, why? Bottles of Kinley and Aquafina selling at exorbidant prices is something we cannot seem to fathom. Being broke is a term synonymous with being a festival punter, so burning a hole through our wallets for a single bottle of water, seems plain ridiculous. To be fair, a number of festivals in places like Netherlands and Australia have started to provide free drinking water to their attendees, which may not be feasible for all promoters. But surely, lowering the prices you charge for some motherlovin’ H20 isn’t the world’s most difficult task, is it?
(Image Courtesy : Electric Zoo)
2. Why is it, that getting the sound right is a ‘Herculean’ task for you to conquer?
Hell hath no fury like a festival attendee left deaf. From sound bleeding and low-quality acoustics to speakers randomly going bust, do you guys need a lesson in sound management or do you think we won’t be able to figure out you’re just cutting costs? It’s not like we’re asking for premium treatment, we’re asking for you to treat our eardrums with a modicom of sympathy.
As you should know, we are all sound-hungry, night-owls who live inside our earphones and are live music’s biggest supporters. So who is it you think you’re fooling, anyway?
3. Why is it that you promise more than you can actually deliver?
At the risk of sounding like a needy significant other, this is a question that begs for an answer. A LOT of music festivals these days come with flowery promises of pomp and show through the means of great marketing videos, posters, social media campaigns and what not, but only a few succeed in delivering what they actually set out to do. Why promise full stocked bars and ample parking, when it is not feasible for you to maintain that?
We get that this is the spirit of adver-exaggerating-tising, but some of us are pretty damn tired of that shit.
4. Just so you know, people with vaginas also attend your events.
Ladies, let us all just come out and say it. The waste disposal at most outdoor music events is a flippin’ disaster. Going to a festival when you know you’re on your period is a nightmare, particularly because locating an appropriate garbage bin to dispose used tampons or napkins is akin to searching for one of Voldemort’s horcruxes. Even when you do find one, it’s almost always filled to the brim with garbage, without an empty one in sight. To all the LIVE event companies who are having a hard time figuring out how many disposal bins they should acquire : Atleast 1/3 of your audiences are female, out of which (assume) half are probably menstruating. You do the math.
5. Venue selection is key, but you’re failing miserably.
Now, the key to having a successful outdoor music festival is making sure your venue hits all the nails on the head; regarding its location, sound quality and space for attendees to roam freely but not get lost in. Granted, festivals that offer ‘special’ experiences in unique landscapes like deserts and hills come with their own set of DOs and DONTs, but what about the plain city-bound ones? For example, if a world famous band is coming to perform at your festival, and you pick the city’s smallest and most cramped venue possible, you’ve most certainly done us (the fans) wrong.
6. Almost always : The number of bars are inadequate.
The least that could be done, is organize enough watering holes for people to grab a drink, at relative ease. Sad reality : Between walking to the bar, standing in line and buying a glass of your choice you’ve already missed half an hour of your favourite headlining set. This problem could be solved by having smaller, yet more bars around the venue.