You are allowed to cringe multiple times because you will need to!
This time of the year, everyone just wonders and daydreams about spendingย their summer at Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in California.ย But we also know that the tickets for Coachella are one of the most coveted things in the whole universe and absolutely difficult to get your hands on! Infact, the tickets sold out within the first 3 hours after it was announced!
For some women who are contemplating to sell your closet for the tickets, or sacrifice your food to Satan, you won’t have to!ย Just days after Coachellaย declaredย its line-up for 2017 and took the festival-goers by storm,ย Gordon, a 56-year-old man posted an ad on Craiglist offering a VIP ticket for “the one”ย womanย aged between 19-25 for Weekend 2 of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.
Credits : Pinterest
According to the ad, it dawned upon the man that his life was all about “FUN” and this propelled him to buy the expensive tickets and give one of them away to one lucky woman who would meet his creepy requirements.
Credits : www.shemazing.net
My sincere request will be to find the guy and knock some senses into him, but it would be more clever to not go near him at all. (Mayday Mayday!)
Look at the ridiculous ad below :
Ok hereโs the deal. I have a VIP Pass for Weekend 2. Iโm willing to give it away for free to the right person. Iโm looking for a travel โcompanionโ that can enjoy the festival with me and just have a good time. I left my job as Supervising Manager at Soup Plantation and subsequently divorced my wife of 11 years. I cashed out my 401k and decided that moving forward, my life is all about having fun! No more team meetings, no more employee evaluations, no more balance sheets, no more darn conference calls at 7am. JUST FUN! I have a room at the Tropics Motor Motel in Indio Thursday through Monday. If you believe you can meet the below criteria, please shoot me an email and describe why you think you make the best fit. I appreciate your time and look forward to finding the right โoneโ!
1. Must be female between the ages of 19 and 25
2. Must be comfortable traveling in a Recreational Vehicle (Vintage Shasta Chinook 3100 โ pic attached).
3. Must have fashionable sense of style in the vein of typical coachella goer (i.e. cute indian headband, small ripped jean shorts, lots of colorful bracelets, etc).
4. Preferably have a playlist of various Coachella artists on phone we can listen to on ride over.
5. Must keep hands and feet moisturized at all times.
6. Must be open-minded and opportunistic.
7. Must be ok with periodic hand-holding (perhaps during certain sensual songs and while walking into the festival initially).
8. Fingernails and Toenails must be nicely painted and harmonious with general color scheme of outfit.
9. I will provide snacks such as beef jerky and peanut butter sandwiches but if you have additional snacks and/or drinksโฆBIG BONUS!
10. Being social is fine but no excessive fraternizing with other male festival-goers, and most definitely NO PUBLIC AFFECTION with other festival-goers (violation of this rule results in immediate removal of Tropic Motor Motel room privileges and maybe even return ride).
11. Periodic moments of extended eye contact.
12. Allow me to brush your hair once per day (not mandatory, but encouraged).
13. Must not be into drugs, pot ok.
14. Must take a minimum of four photos of us together and post them to your Instigram account.
15. Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence.
16. At least once during festival, you must allow me to carry you on my shoulders so you can see stage better (perfect time for instigram photo!)
17. At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that โI am naughtyโ.
18. At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that โyou didnโt know how this would go, but youโre actually having a really good timeโ.
19. At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.
20. Must be ready to party and HAVE FUN!
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and as mentioned, an all expenses paid trip. If you think youโre the one, let me know and we can have a great time together. My name is Gordon and I am 56 years old from West Covina.
Best,
Gordie
http://s.quickmeme.com/