madeup.lv10 Russell Brand Quotes That Are Way Too Real Meher Manda June 17, 2015 FS Features The genius behind the humour of Russell Brand is often attributed to the carelessly hidden dose of realism. Today we look at the times when the famous British Comedian got way too real. Russell Brand is one of the more important social commentators of our time. Not only does he say the most obscurely hilarious things, since he’s a comedian, he also gives out harsh truth while at it. And with Comedy Central bringing him down to India for the upcoming Comedy Central Chuckle Festival, you might want to get to know him a little better! The Sherp lists down the ten times the funnyman dished out some humorous truths. 1. If only everyone followed this: “I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!” 2. For people with lack of patience. “I like threesomes with two women, not because I’m a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I’m a romantic. I’m looking for “The One.” And I’ll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.” 3. Well, something to chew gum over. “Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.'” 4. Crisps for President? “If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can’t you just have some crisps?” 5. Plus, Penguins are black and white, all over. “All penguins are the same below the surface, which I think is as perfect an analogy as we’re likely to get for the futility of racism” 6. Work is futile. “Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.” 7. ..cough cough.. Bush..cough cough.. “Some people, I think they’re called racists, say America is not ready for a black president. But, I know America to be a forward-thinking country, right, because otherwise, you know, would you have let that retarded cowboy fella be president for eight years? We were very impressed. We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn’t be trusted with a pair of scissors.” 8. To be fair, not that sparkly. “The lumbering monotheistic faiths have given us millennia of grief for a handful of prayers and some sparkly rituals.” 9. We’d do that. If you’re in a room with Britney Spears, you just want to say, “What did you shave your head for, love?” 10. And lastly, “Life is not a theme park, and if it is, the theme is death.” (all images source: giphy.com) If you don’t want to miss these wisecracks live, buy your tickets for the event here.