Let’s admit it. A lot of things get a free pass at a music festival, that would never, in real life. The Sherp looks at all these amusing yet incredibly weird festival experiences.
Music Festivals are all about alternative lifestyles, and alternative experiences that prove a massive shift from everything that’s clichéd and monotonous. And camping away for several days at a spot far away from the city, surrounded by thousands of strangers can, and would, obviously lead to some weird situations, most of which, would never happen, or be allowed to happen in real life.
We look at the most ridiculous of the lot.
Sucking up to brands on twitter
The outrageously obsessive need to attend a music festival begins from the very desperation of being too broke to be able to afford the pass. Now, in real life, your twitter account is a dormant list of what you think are wisecracks, that no one cares about, with minimal followers, and little to no attention. But come festival season, you’re as alert as a hawk, looking for any twitter contest that could get you the pass you desire.
You change your twitter names to appeal to the brand giving away the pass, from Arvind Van Buuren to Skrillex Mehta, we’ve seen them all. The passion is strong, and true.
Not so clean porta-potties
In day to day life, you wouldn’t be caught dead risking every unhygienic hazard in the world by agreeing to use a disgustingly dirty toilet. At a music festival, though, you are left with very little choice. Portaloos is the ‘American Horror Story’ of a music festival. Very rarely do festivals manage clean portaloos, and the ones that do, we tip our hats in thankfulness. But every other time, though, clogged toilets, smelly grease, and leaking spaces are just the norm, difficult to avoid with all the alcohol chugged in. It’s the stuff of nightmares. Barf!
Campers without showers
Camping is meant for the wild, true nomad. The ones who don’t mind a little dust, a little dirt, and a little sand in their shoes. Who let it all be, and submit themselves to nature. Except, in real life, not taking a shower daily is not permissible, especially if you’re meant to get out, you know, for work. But with poor water conditions, and not the best levels of hygiene around, most festival campers skip the shower part of the day.
Imagine dancing up close and personal next to one.
Fancy jackets in the heat
Cities prone to scalding heat rarely do ever get to witness the infamy of the leather jacket. Sure, they’re cool, and testament to being the ultimate rockstar (whether you play rock music or not), but putting one on in the heat, is akin to inviting suffocation and death for the ultimate competition.
Except, if you won’t be your coolest self at a music festival, where else will you be? So on come the leather jackets, and the boots, even at temperatures of 40 degree Celcius. Sure, they’ll be a stinking mess the next day, but as long as the photos come out good right?
Sitting on the shoulder
We’re not against tiny humans finding the strength of tall human shoulders for a better view, except it happens so very rarely in the outside world, that we aren’t accustomed to it. Within the confines of a music festival though, there are multiple tiny-people-on-tall-people human installations across the arena. For medium-heighted people like myself, It’s pure drudgery no less.
Also, props to the strong pairs of shoulders. You might be doing our line of vision great disservice, but you’re a good friend.
Snoggers, and more
Public Displays of Affection scales new heights when inside a music festival. There is something about the recklessly free atmosphere and ambience, isn’t it? The number of couples tongue-fighting is a forever number, and some throw caution and policing to the wind, but indulging in so much more.
As for me, I will never forget the pair of grinding younglings during a set of Foreign Beggars, right in front of me, at Bacardi NH7 Weekender last year.
Twerking against random strangers
Speaking of grinding, how many times have you danced with a complete stranger at a music festival? Too many to count, right? But dancing is a mild way to put it. Music festivals are where random strangers have their butts get up close and personal with strange crotches. It’s all there. Twerking, grinding, dancing too close for windy comfort. It’s all cool, though. But in real life, one wouldn’t have someone so much as touch them for a second longer.
This is cool
This, on the other hand –
Real expensive alcohol and water
Music festivals are quite possibly the only place you’re forced to shell out money in the thousands to afford a decent dose of liquids. It’s preposterous, but because smuggling alcohol in is such a rarity, achieved only by the truly badass, you have no choice but to have your finances go haywire at the liquid counter at a music festival. It’s not you fault, though. You need to maintain a steady intake of juices with the much you sweat out jumping around.
Selfie sticks everywhere
Carrying around a long stick that could poke anyone the wrong way when in a crowded stick will get you beaten up, or worse, lectured on social etiquette for hours on end. But at a music festival, they’ve become such a (redundantly) obvious accessory that almost everyone has them. Bang in the middle of a set, a stick rise in the air, to take not a portrait of the performing artist, but an unnecessary selfie of a few screaming mouths.
The end of festival traffic nightmare
It’s all rave while the festival is on, but the nightmare begins when the festival actually ends. Getting to your parked car and actually managing to get out of the festival vicinity is a real torture, which is worse, given how drunk / high / exhausted you actually are. In real life though, you’d just curl up in your bed, and never leave. At a festival, you’re nothing but a disgruntled human.
(All gif images via : giphy.com)