Every day, we have reasons to communicate with people, whether via text, phone calls, or even face to face. While these reasons are important, what’s even more crucial is communicating effectively.
Communication expert and writer, Juliet Winter says, “the point of communicating is to pass a message, idea, or express a feeling to a recipient. Therefore, it’s important to relate your message clearly to prevent misunderstanding that may lead to an argument, pain, or confusion.”
In this article, we’ll show you what effective communication means and how to do just that.
What is Effective Communication?
Relationship experts like Hyatt Simons would define effective communication as speaking clearly to your partner in the language they’d understand so that your intention is accepted for what it truly is.
Effective communication is a skill that helps couples to connect on a deeper level for a healthy relationship.
The following tips will help you to communicate effectively:
1. Don’t Assume
People are usually quick to assume the reasons behind their partner’s actions rather than trying to understand what the real reason may be.
To cultivate effective communication skill, always endeavor to ask your partner or other people the reason behind what they’ve done before drawing a conclusion.
For instance, instead of believing they kept you waiting because they prioritized other things above you, simply ask, “I noticed you didn’t show up quite on time; why is that, if I may ask?”
By asking instead of assuming, you can reduce your chances of misunderstanding your partner and others.
2. Free Your Emotions
One of the ways to achieve effective communication is by learning to free your emotions rather than bottling them inside of you. This tip will help prevent future outbursts while aiding mutual understanding.
When the actions or words of your partner don’t sit well with you, don’t hide how you feel about them. Rather convey your displeasure to your partner calmly and civilly.
No doubt, other forms of communication like written and non-verbal communication can also be effective in passing messages across between a sender and a receiver; however, it shouldn’t substitute for oral communication.
Master the habit of clearly stating your needs, opinion, and conclusions by talking to your partner. It could be through frequent phone conversations if you’re in a long-distance relationship or in person if otherwise.
The goal is to help your partner in fulfilling your need, seeing your pain, and understanding you without hoping they do all these by mere intuition or common sense.
Listening is an action that can help you to communicate effectively. This holds true because it enables you to clearly understand what the sender is saying.
Communication expert, Tidal Marley says, active listening doesn’t imply hearing what someone else is saying or keeping your lips sealed while finding a rejoinder for the sender’s message. Instead, it means giving attention to what is being said to enable complete understanding.
To help you listen better, here’s what you should do:
- Give rapt attention to what your partner is saying.
- Show acknowledgment either through your body language, for instance, by nodding your head, or through little comments such as “oh yes.” This tip will show that you understand their point.
- Reflect on what they’ve said before responding.
- And then give a response void of judgment and disrespect.
5. Be Sincere and Honest
Proper communication involves having a sincere and honest conversation. When your partner brings up a subject, try to be as open as possible, honest, and sincere with your contribution and understanding.
Moreover, don’t pretend to understand them or accept their ideas when you genuinely don’t feel that way. By letting your partner know how you truly feel, they’ll better understand your way of thinking and type of person.
Communication experts advise that couples must remain focused while communicating their feeling or concern to each other if they want to be understood completely.
Don’t bring up past cases you think are connected to the present one, as this action usually leads to misunderstanding, thus making the discussion more tedious.
Instead of saying, “you left these dishes unwashed just like you did two weeks ago.”
Endeavor to say, “why haven’t you washed today’s dishes?”
Practicing this tip will enable communication between you and your partner to be more straightforward and comfortable.
7. Admit to Your Actions
A conversation would go nowhere if both parties are unwilling to admit to their actions, says Brandy White, a communication expert.
Effective communication entails acknowledging your mistakes even when your partner has theirs. This singular action would encourage them to do the same and enhance mutual understanding and solution.
8. Don’t Point Accusing Fingers
Many times, people are unwilling to admit to their actions when they feel attacked and accused. Hence, it’s crucial not to point accusing fingers while communicating.
For instance, instead of saying, “you never consider my feelings before acting,” use more tactful and less accusatory language such as “I feel that you do things without letting me know.”
This measure gives the listener room to express themself and even admit to their actions because they don’t feel judged and attacked.
9. Give and Receive Criticisms Positively
No one is perfect, and this reality gives room for flaws that bring about criticism. Thus as couples striving to achieve effective communication, always give and receive criticisms positively.
Learn to correct your partner’s wrongdoing with love instead of anger or bitterness. Speak to them with respect even when their actions don’t make you happy. This way, you’ll be helping them to turn a new leaf.
On the other hand, when criticized, don’t become provocative or angry. Understand that to make your partner happy, you must be open to their opinion about you, whether good or bad, and be willing to correct them.
When communication becomes argumentative, either party may strive to win the argument.
However, to communicate effectively, always find a resolution that makes you two feel heard and understood.
Don’t feel like you have a superior reason when you both have laid out your concerns. Instead, be understanding and make room for everyone to be happy.
Communication would be a lot easier if you involve some gentle physical contact. By holding your partner’s face in between your hands, reaching out for their hand, or stroking their hair, you can positively influence how they receive your words.
Communication experts believe that touching will help the conversation be less aggressive, and more cooperative.
Conclusively, learn to see that effective communication is a way to make you enjoy communicating with your partner. This will help you to learn the above tips to better your relationship easily.