If you’re one half of an annoyingly adorable duo, then this goes for you too.
It’s great making road trips with your SO and getting in some quality time with each other. But maybe attending a music festival while you do that isn’t the best way to go. Music festivals are crowded, chaotic and not at all private. And every once in a while (or rather, almost always) we come across couples at music fests that really need to keep their proverbial shit together. Here are ten things we’re oh-so-tired of seeing couples do at festivals.
1. Snogging in plain sight.
We know all about hormones and libidos, folks.Β But please, for the love of all things holy, save it for the bedroom. A lot of us wish to view the stage, not a poorly choreographed drunken make-out session. Sincerely, everyone.
2.Β When they decide it’s okay to have one of themΒ sits on the other’s shoulders.
You’re here together and you’re in love and you’re trying to be cute, we get it. But once again, there are at least five people behind you who can see nothing but your backs. All we ask is that you stand on your own two feet, how hard can it be?
3. Being joinedΒ at the hip.
“Baby, I’m going to the bathroom, wait outside for me?”
“Baby, I want a drink, come with me?”
“Baby, I can’t see the stage, let’s move two feet to the left.”
Despite what you believe, your better half probably isn’t going to be run over/picked up/choke on their own tongue in the amount of time it takes you to pee. ‘Nuff said.
4.Β Bumping & grinding all up in everyone’s faces.
This includes dry humping, twerking and whatever other abominable dance move you can think of that makes people around you want to either barf or move ten feet away – or both. (Only, in most cases, you can’t because it’s A MUSIC FESTIVAL.)
5.Β Exchanging saliva in plain sight.
We can’t emphasize this point enough.
6. Drunken whispering, loudly.
We appreciate couples who whisper for others’ benefit, except, most of the time, they’re drunk and think they’re whispering, but in actuality, might as well grab a megaphone so it’s loud and clear. TMI, people.
7. PDR – Public Display of Rage
It seems like this couple forgot while planning this trip that they HATE EACH OTHER’S GUTS. From name calling to actual physical threats, this is that one couple everyone pretends not to know because they make the festival arena their own, personal wrestling ring. Take your problems home, folks!
8. The age old trying-to-get-her-drunk-to-get-lucky trick. It’s painful for all of us.Β
She knows what you’re trying to do, even we know what you’re trying to do. And chances are, you might just succeed. But let it be known, everyone here is judging you.
9. When they ask everyone they can get their hands on to click their picture.
In the quest to get the perfect, nonchalant, we’re-so-in-love, festival picture, these couples are known to pester everyone around them to get their picture clicked. Pro tip: Avoid eye contact.
10.Β Tongue-wrestling in plain sight. Seriously guys, stop it.Β
(All GIFs Courtesy: giphy.com)